Day 22- “Can you say EMBARRASSING?!?”

This story was going to be about my clunky, style suited for Herman Munster boots, which I bought to make me tall enough to pull off a fabulous pair of jeans I got at Nordstrom’s (with a gift certificate from a BFF). The jeans were so much too long that normal heels were not going to help and they could not be altered or hemmed due to the design on the bottom. This story is instead about a day hoping no one was noticing the trail of shoe crumbs I was leaving everywhere I walked like some modern day Hansel and Gretel. It was soooo embarrassing. Most people might be embarrassed to wear shoes that are giant, clunky, ugly boots for which no matching accessory has ever been made but I am good with all of that, however trail of shoe parts in my wake constitutes a problem. Unbeknownst to me these boots were among the multitude of footwear stored in the attic that could not handle the extreme temperatures. The morning I decided these Circa 2004 (yes 2004 not 1974) were my way to walk above the puddles created by the never ending downpours, I had no idea I should start video taping the decay that was about to occur, it would have been too funny in elapsed time. When I put them on in the morning I tried to shine them up and buff off the only small scuff I could find on them before heading off to work. By the time I got to work they started to crack across the ankle and by the end of the day every time I looked down they were missing another chunk of the beige colored shiny coating I was leaving a trail of shoe crumbs. They were disintegrating before my eyes. What’s really screwed up is that the shoe hoarding issue that lives in my head took over because instead of putting these shoes that have literally self destructed, which is obviously the universe telling me there is not room on the planet for this much ugly, straight in the trash I am now thinking about bedazzling them. They went to the craft table instead of the dumpster because there must be a way to refinish my “Herman Muster”, “made it possible for me to wear those cute jeans”, (the ones that will never fit properly or be back in style) funky 70’s kind of shoes. If there is a way and I figure it out these boots may have a second entry and stats in this blog.

Wear *? But Not Many *(Summer 2014)

Circa *2004

Cost  * Approx. $20

Comfort  4

Pair #25

* =Best Guess

Wrecked shoe box in basement June 2018